So over the last few months I have been having a lot of pain in between my ribs. Being as it is that I have MCTD, (Mixed Connective Tissue Disease) that is what I had thought the pain was from. So I lived with my heating pad for a few weeks. Hey whatever helps right??? One day 3 weeks ago, I start having some sharp shooting pains on the left side of my chest around my heart area. Okay, little freaked out! Took a little trip to the ER to make sure all was good with me.
I get rolled into the back & have all the lovely EKG stickers slapped on me. Oh how I hate them!!! The doctor tried to touch my upper chest & I shrieked in pain. EKG comes back normal. They stole 6 vile of blood from me for all kinds of test. Nothing new there... Oh the lovely pain meds, oh how I love thee! I could have kissed the nurse as she pushed 2 syarnges of Dalton in my IV. Pain was gone, for the first time in weeks!!!
The doctor comes in & says that all my blood work is back. He asked why I was taking Prenatal Vitamins. I said because my doctor said they were better for me then just regular One A Day Vitamins because of my Lupus. He then goes on to say, Well its a good thing you are taking them, because you are pregnant. WHAT?!?!? I was in total shock!!! He said he wanted to run another blood test to find out how far along I was. Then left the room.
I busted out in tears. How could this be??? I had been told that I most likely would never be able to have children. I gave up my dream of ever becoming a mom a few years ago. I had accepted my fate & was okay with it. So I sat there in total shock. I thought of all the risks that I would be facing. I'm 35 years old, I have a compermised cervix from having Stage 3 Pre-Cancer Cells removed 5 years ago & I have many Auto Immune Diseases. I'm as high risk as they come for a pregnancy!!!
So it's been a few weeks now since I found out this wonderful news... I've called all my different doctors to find out which of my meds I need to stop taking or needed to be adjusted. I set up appointment's with an OB/GYN to start my prenatal care.
I wish that I could say that I've come to terms with being pregnant, but I haven't just yet. I'm VERY scared & worried that something bad will happen to the baby. Yet slowly each day it get a little easier & I worry a little less. Not many people know of my pregnancy. I don't want to many people to get all excited & then the worst happens. So I'm waiting awhile to let the news out. I know there will be people that will be very happy for me. But I also know that people will worry if I'm going to be healthy enough to carry the baby to term. Only time will tell. Yes its very hard to withhold this new from my very supportive family & friends. But it's what I have to do. I really don't want people to worry more about me then they already do because of my Lupus.
As of today I am 7 weeks & 2 days along. My due date is Sept. 23, 2012.
I'm still waiting for it all to feel more real to me. I'm sure that it will soon. At least that's my hope.
Congratulations! I'll be thinking about you. I can't wait to hear how surprisingly smooth everything goes for you. I understand your need to keep this to yourself for a little while. Just sit back, try not to stress too much, and smile knowingly when your nearest and dearest start noticing. *many happy hugs*
ReplyDelete